It’s like I know what to do but I just can’t do it. It reminds me of Kylo Ren in Star Wars.
In my journey with crippling anxiety, I feel like I’ve seen it all; every tip, every trick. I refuse to mislead my readers by saying these are “new” techniques, but they are things that I haven’t taken seriously enough.
As cliche as it is, it’s 2020 and I’m sick of having this dark cloud and fear attached to me even when I’m supposed to be happy. These will hopefully become habitual for me.
I’ve been an avid healing crystal collector for some time now, but I just (relatively) recently starting taking it more seriously. For the past few months, I’ve been seeing my wizard friend Paul who has been checking me for negative energy and suggesting crystals for me.
Right now I have 14 crystals; Red Jasper, Carnelian, Citrine, Adventurine, Sodalite, Clear Quartz, Amethyst, Selenite, Tree Agate, Labradorite, Angelite, Kyanite, and 2 Black Tourmaline. The first 7 are my chakra crystals.
Here’s a look at my happy little crystals (in order from above):
Photo by fotografierende
I’ve always been interested in crystals and stones because, well, they’re beautiful and I’m a geology nut, but also because of their natural healing properties for living things. If you haven’t read it yet, I recently had my first selenite wand experience and WOW. I couldn’t have made it up if I tried.
So under the advice and guidance of my local wizard (lol no just a healer) I’ve been healing with chakra stones and some others.
Here’s my arsenal:
- Root – Red Jasper
- Sacral – Carnelian
- Solar Plexus – Citrine
- Heart – Adventurine
- Throat – Sodalite
- Third Eye – Amethyst
- Crown – Clear Quartz
- Tree Agate
- Black Tourmaline
Something “weird” that happens to me when I use my crystals for healing (rather than just holding on to them) is that I cry. Not sad tears, not angry tears, but happy, relieved tears. I called my guy and he said it’s totally normal, it’s just the kind of person I am. (I believe he was referring to me being highly sensitive but I’m not sure). Tears just come out, unforced, which is weird for me, and my spirit is lifted and happy. I rarely ever describe myself as happy or cry, which now that I think about it seems a little contradicting. It’s almost addicting to feel this good. I’m glad it’s stones and crystals rather than meth lol.
There’s absolutely no doubt in my mind that we are connected to the earth, so of course we are connected to crystals and stones. Shit, did you know ice is a mineral? Geologists argue about it, but it has all 5 of the characteristics that make up a mineral. And what are we made of? WATER. Like, come on. I don’t see how some people refuse to connect the dots and take the information laid out in front of them.
“Holy shit,” I mumbled as my body started to tingle. When the shop owner was detecting my negative energy on his own I was fine, but when I took the selenite wand into my own hands I immediately felt it sucking the badness out of me; my left hand and right shoulder to be exact.
My legs started to give in and blood felt like it was rushing to my head. I became hyper-aware of how my body was feeling and all I could say was, “I’m going to pass out. I’m going to pass out.” All because I was holding a selenite wand in my hands.
“Just hang on a little longer,” The shopkeeper, Paul, said to me. Eyes wide, I obviously wanted to shove it back into his hands, but I was frozen in an equal mixture of terror and amazement. I didn’t expect this to happen; not because I don’t believe in “this stuff” but because I know some practices are questionable. I wasn’t sure what I expected, but that was not it.
After the cleansing was over and I settled down a little, my recent behaviours started to make more sense to me. When I was in the shop holding the stones that I wanted, all of a sudden I started to get a panic attack (which isn’t rare for me) and I wanted to flee the store. I’m convinced that the negative energy sensed what was coming for it and tried to get me, and therefore it, out of “harms” way.
When running the wand over me, he stopped at my left palm.
“Is that a real tattoo?” He asked in regards to my faded “A”.
“Yeah, I have 3.” Which I’m now realizing isn’t even true, I have 4.
He keeps going along my wingspan, passing my bee tattoo, and stops at my third, my poodle.
“There’s some right here, too.” Paul said, wand hovering.
“My poodle?” I joked, frowning.
“No, no,” He started, “It’s not the tattoo itself, the symbol, or the meaning. For some reason, bad energy just likes to go to them.”
He also detected my stomach problems with the wand, which I had never mentioned.
That’s when he passed the wand on to me. I had watched the woman before me hold it and nothing happened to her. She was free of negative energy. After me my father held it and he too was free of negative energy. They’re very rare– 1/1,000.
I also learned that while empaths and sensitives are very similar, they are not the same.
At the end of my trip I got a sage mist, chakra stones (red jasper, sodalite, aventurine, carnelian, citrine, tree agate, and crystal quartz.), labradorite, selenite, angelite, amethyst, and black tourmaline. Paul cleansed my stones for me with selenite and my hand started shaking because of the stones vibrations.
This was one of the most unexplainable, spiritual things that have ever happened to me. I know it’s going to sound like reaching to most people, but I’m serious. None of this is fabricated– it’s my real life experience that happened to me about an hour ago.
And get this– Paul is a friggin engineer. Out of all of the people that could be into this, an ENGINEER. I love it.
Photo is from Poshmark
I got my hair cut a little too short for comfort, so I’ve been trying to find actual ways to help my hair grow. One thing that I see everywhere are hair masks (made with breakfast foods lol). Since there are so many around the web, I made my own that’s a mixture of some highly regarded mixes. The point of this mask is to give nutrients back to stripped hair and promote healthy growth.
I hate the dark. I hate not seeing my surroundings. These are cute, non-embarrassing ways to always keep the light on.
- A constellation projector
- Glow in the dark wall decals
- Glow in the dark objects
- Good old fashioned night light
- Christmas lights
- Character lamp