Mood Stabilizing: How to Control your Anger

Everybody gets angry, but then there are people who get angry all the time; sometimes for no reason. I used to be one of those people, but I am on the road to stabilizing my moods! There are some regulation tricks I do to be calm and avoid shit that make me mad.

This post is divided into “How to Deal with that Loser in Class“, “How to Keep your Cool in Meetings“, “How to be Around People you Can’t Stand“, and “How to Stay Calm When Everything is Going Wrong“. I chose these topics because they tend to be what “ruins” my day or make me unnecessarily angry. It’s a pretty long post for Just Giada, so to find what you want hit “Crtl” and “F” simultaneously on your keyboard and search the page for the section you want.

Anger #1: How to Deal with that Loser in Class

There are 3 situations that drive me absolutely NUTS and how I deal with my resulting anger.

  • Situation 1: There’s this girl in one of my classes who always comes in late (annoying) and then, like, bounces to an empty seat (extra-super-annoying). It’s just obnoxious to me, and every time I see it I get super angry and become extra annoyed by other, unrelated things.
    • There’s an extremely simple solution that I found… I don’t look. When I see her come in to class, I dead ass just close my eyes and wait until I hear her plop in a chair.
  • Situation 2: In my Literature classes these past 2 semesters there are always 2-3 students who always have something to say, interrupt the teacher, and tell long-winded stories about their lives that aren’t relevant. On top of that, they always have annoying voices. It’s agonizing.
    • While it’s harder to not hear than not see, I began to tune those people out automatically. Some days, when I’m feeling less angry than usual, I will try to find some substance in what they’re saying.
  • Situation 3: The chatty group in class. This seems to be a problem in several of my classes this semester. While the sound of whispering really irks me, it makes me even more frustrated to not be able to hear the teacher. Yesterday a group of boys were talking so loud that the professor stopped class to address it.
    • To solve this problem, I suggest a few things depending on how passive or assertive you are.
      • If you’re passive you might want to look at the teacher like, “Please make them shut up,” or turn towards the chatters a lot until they or the professor gets the idea that they’re very distracting.
      • If you’re more assertive, you can ask them (politely) to shut up, or give them a look.

Anger #2: How to Keep your Cool in Meetings

I don’t know about you but I hate meetings. I never get heard, everyone says dumb stuff, and it feels like I’m wasting my time.

  • If the meetings honestly make you want to rip your (or somebody else’s) hair out, you may want to try to get out of the meetings and be caught up alone with your boss/admin/etc. To do this either find a valid excuse (class, work, picking up your child–something that you CANNOT get out of) OR talk to the leader of the meetings and be honest.
  • If there’s no way in hell you can get out of these meetings, you need to learn some calming down tricks. What you can “get away with” varies on how big the group is and how professional they are, so I’m going to divide them.

Note: While the small meeting coping skills can be used in the big meetings, the big meeting coping skills cannot be used in the small meetings due to the distraction/attention you’ll cause. 

Big meetings or informal meetings–it’s easier to distract yourself

  • Headphones. Both ears. Loud music. Tune that bullshit out.
  • Read a book, magazine, or a blog
  • Take online quizzes
  • Study for your next exam via flash cards or a paper study guide
  • Pretend you’re typing notes on your computer
  • Braid your hair
  • Very quietly (some people care about the meeting for some reason) talk to someone or pass notes
  • Text someone who will reply in a timely fashion
  • Scroll through every single social media ever
  • Organize your Pinterest boards (click for my article on it)

Small meetings or professional meetings–release nervous energy or tune people out

  • Squeeze a stress ball, silly puddy, slime, play-dough, etc.
  • If you cannot possibly say anything good, make it a game to not say anything at all to avoid getting into trouble and silently roast people in your head
  • Doodle and tune people out
  • Pretend you’re looking at/taking notes but study
  • Play word games in your head (like naming an animal for each letter of the alphabet)

You get the point. If you have any other ideas comment them! I want to hear what you think! 

Anger #3: How to be Around People you Can’t Stand

This one is tricky depending on the situation, but I honestly think it’s something that most people go through on a daily basis. The important thing here is to not end up treating the people you DO like like the people you don’t like, just because you’re upset.

  • Avoid them physically and sensory-wise if at all possible
    • Put in headphones, absorb yourself in a book, sit in the opposite side of the room or where you can’t see them, leave whenever they come near you to do a minuscule task, close your eyes or turn around when they’re in your line of sight, etc.
      • Example: I can’t stand this guy at work so I put in my headphones and study
  • If it’s at work, see if you can change your schedule even if it’s a pain in the ass to do so
  • Basically, try to ignore their existence. “Sandra who? Never heard of her.”

Anger #4: How to Keep Calm When Everything is Going Wrong

Depending on the severity of how you feel you can do simple breathing exercises or see a counselor.

Simple examples:

Breathing exercises, try “mindfulness” (I hate the name but it works), take a walk outside, close your eyes, repeat mantras/affirmations, call someone you love and talk to them about it, have a girl’s night, “treat yourself” to Starbucks or something, take a bath with all of the cute bath stuff you’ve been saving, watch a few episodes of a show, cuddle, clean your room, skip a class that won’t penalize you directly or indirectly, go to the beach, go for a swim, nap, etc.

Less simple examples:

Visit your school counselor, visit a therapist, visit a psychiatrist, take a trip back home or to a city you want to go to, take a mental health day, take a long nap, visit your parents or relatives, etc.

That’s all for now!

XOXO Giada

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